Kalen Holliday
[Nightmares]
Dice: 6 d10 TN7 (1, 5, 6, 8, 9, 9) ( success x 3 )
Ian
This
evening marked the second time that Ian's Audi found its way to the
pretty residential neighborhood where Kalen's house took up land. And if
this meeting happened to be more business than play, well, that was
unfortunately the nature of their lives. The two of them hadn't spoken
since that last night, but if Kalen hadn't been the first to call, Ian
likely would have beat him to the punch. They both had things they
needed to discuss.
When Kalen opened the door, he'd find Ian
standing there with one hand resting lightly on the door frame, his
posture casual. (Like he'd already come to think of the place as
somewhere familiar.) But the expression on his face didn't quite fit
with the rest of his body language. His eyes looked dark and withdrawn.
Present but... guarded. He seemed a little preoccupied.
Nonetheless
he smiled when he saw Kalen, and there was a familiar edge of
flirtation to the gesture. He parted his lips to speak, but...
Something was different.
Ian's eyes darted down to Kalen's leg and held there for a moment.
"I see you've been busy."
Kalen Holliday
[Oh. Is it like that? Awarepathy..... (+WP because someone is still trying to be sure he can trust Ian)]
Dice: 6 d10 TN6 (2, 6, 6, 7, 8, 9) ( success x 6 ) [WP]
Ian
[Jesus look at that roll. Subterfuge?]
Dice: 6 d10 TN6 (1, 4, 7, 8, 9, 10) ( success x 4 )
Ian
These
are the things that Kalen can tell about Ian's present state: He's good at keeping his shit together - but Kalen probably already knew
that. Most of the time it's difficult to get a read on the finer
details of his moods, but tonight Kalen is focused and aware, and he can
see the cracks showing around the edges.
Firstly: Ian is tired.
Not precisely tired in the way that Kalen himself often is. He's had
sleep. But he's been... busy, and perhaps not only with pleasant things.
Secondly:
He is... worried about something. There's a tension in his jaw that
wasn't there before. And his eyes lack warmth. He's stressed and
distracted (about something that bears no relation to Kalen and this
place.)
...But not so stressed or distracted that he doesn't
notice Kalen's rejuvenated physical state, or that he can't take a
moment to appreciate the potential personal benefit it might have if
they decided to repeat their last encounter.
Kalen Holliday
Kalen's eyes roll at that. "I'm always busy. You have no idea." His eyes sweep over Ian again, slowly. Almost lazily. Almost. But
Kalen is aware tonight, awake and not distracted by pain. Not
distracted by Ian's presence in quite the same way he was last time.
And he seems to possess his space more tonight, in a relaxed way.
"Hey,"
he says, and his voice is gentler. "Come in. Sit down. You want that
drink now?" He has to think about taking a step backward, because he
hasn't been able to just do that in forever, but he is steady on his
feet. Even if he has to pay attention to where they are. He does not
say that Ian looks tired or stressed or tense. He's relatively sure
calling him on that isn't exactly the best of plans. But he hasn't
actively tried to hide what he's feeling entirely for awhile, and he
doesn't send all those masks slamming back up. If anything, he lets
them go a little more.
Ian
Ian regarded Kalen
silently for a moment, like maybe he'd noticed the change in Kalen's
demeanor (the gentleness in his voice) but wasn't entirely certain how
he felt about it.
In any case, the moment passed, and he stepped
inside and pulled off his jacket, letting the mundane familiarity of the
action occupy his attention for a moment while he put it away. "I could
use a drink, if you've got anything good." (And Kalen seemed like the
type to keep expensive alcohol in his liquor cabinet.) "And then you can
tell me how you managed to heal your leg."
Because that wasn't exactly common magic (or medicine.)
Kalen Holliday
"I
have whiskey and this incredible red wine I bring here from Chile. I'm
relatively certain both have been described as religious experiences at
least once. Those are the best things. But there is a fully stocked
bar, if you're in the mood for something else." His tone is lighter,
though there is still something of that gentleness lurking in it.
"Where
do you want to go?" Because if Ian says he wants to drink whiskey out
of the bottle in bed Kalen will be as alright with that as champagne
flutes on the couch. For a Hermetic, he is severely lacking in the
formal dining room department.
Ian
"Get the
whiskey," he replied, and there wasn't any hint of uncertainty in it.
One could read a kind of honesty in that response, but Kalen didn't know
Ian well enough to have a grasp of his drinking habits.
The
second question seemed to require more consideration. Ian rested his
hands on the back pockets of his jeans and looked from Kalen to the
living room.
"The couch is fine."
And without waiting for a
go-ahead, Ian let his hands drop and walked into the living room, making
a place for himself on the sofa while Kalen poured the drinks.
Kalen Holliday
Kalen
brings the whiskey, in a gorgeous crystal decanter, and two glasses
into the living room. Each glass gets a good amount of whiskey. He
sets the decanter gently on the coffee table and offers a glass to Ian.
"Here."
He settles onto the couch, not as close to Ian as the
other night, but he doesn't press himself back at the opposite edge in
an attempt to give Ian space. If Ian wanted that much space, there are
chairs. He picks up his glass and regards Ian for a few seconds.
Kalen's full attention is a thing with weight. You can practically
feel it settle over your skin.
"It is a short enough story. I had
a brush with my Avatar, we danced around each other a bit, and I woke
healed." He smiles faintly. "My Avatar would appear to be as suited to
inaction as I am. In any case, it was hardly...something I
deliberately sought out."
Ian
Ian smiled a little at Kalen's use of the word 'Avatar.'
"You are a Hermetic."
But
if he had any particular judgments or assumptions regarding Kalen's
Tradition, Ian kept them to himself. Instead there was merely this quiet
amusement - the sort that implied that Ian himself probably was not,
but that he'd also likely known a few in his day. (Given his
propensities, Ian probably got to know quite a few mages in much the
same way he was getting to know Kalen now.)
Ian rolled the whiskey
glass in his hand for a moment before taking a drink. The alcohol left a
pleasant burn of warmth in his throat when it went down.
"And I
suspect there's a lot more to that story than what you're telling me."
He eyed Kalen observantly, understanding full well the weight of meaning
behind his words. "Do you want to talk about it?"
It didn't sound
like mere courtesy, that offer. There was a note of interest, to be
sure, but also an opening - a kind of permission. Despite everything,
they didn't really know each other. Not yet. Maybe Ian had come over
here tonight because he wanted to get laid (again.) But for the moment,
it did seem as though he actually wanted to talk. (Or, in this case,
listen.)
Kalen Holliday
Kalen sighs and the set of his shoulders relaxes a little. "Honestly, not right this moment. Maybe. I...."
He
takes a slow breath. "It isn't why I asked you to come. And we should
really get to that before we do things that are going to make me
ridiculously vulnerable. Also, there is whatever you aren't talking
about yet. Which might be more pressing."
He takes a sip of
whiskey and curls up sideways against the back of the couch, facing Ian.
"You don't have to talk about it, kitty-cat. But you strike me as the
kind of person where I can tell something is going on, it's probably
not trivial. I'm here, okay. I'll help if you let me."
Ian
To
Ian's credit, when Kalen suggested that he wasn't ready to talk about
his Seeking, he let the matter rest. There was a fine art to knowing
when not to push. And for that matter, Kalen wasn't wrong in his
assumption. There were things he needed to discuss.
Ian took
another drink (longer this time, savoring the complex notes of flavor in
the whiskey,) and set the glass down on the coffee table.
For a
brief moment, a flash of... something... showed in his eyes. Nebulous
and veiled. Then he turned and slid forward on the sofa, insinuating
himself into Kalen's space. One of his hands settled on Kalen's hip, his
fingers searching beneath the hem of Kalen's shirt until they made
contact with skin.
"You might be right." His voice dipped into a
softer register as he leaned closer - until their lips almost met. "But
if you call me that one more time, I'm going to get up and walk out of
here."
His voice hovered smoothly in that half-seductive whisper,
but there was something cold and razor-sharp brooding beneath it.
Something that suggested he wasn't in the mood for pet names.
"And maybe I actually wanted to see you. You never know."
Kalen Holliday
It isn't, precisely,
a pet name. It is affectionate, in at least some sense. He could try
to explain, but that takes longer than the explanation of the Seeking.
The version he gave, anyway. He shudders, and it isn't Ian's hand on
his skin, isn't Ian crowding into his space. Those things he welcomes
easily enough, but what he reacts to is Ian's mouth that close to his.
So close they share breaths.
"Okay," he says softly. "There are
two things you should probably know right now, that may not require
explanations at this moment. One, I never use anyone's name to address
them. Two, and probably more important, I first learned magic from a
woman who had a very strong conception of breath as sacred. What you
are doing right now is...I'm not complaining. But you should probably
know it's a thing."
"Okay. Three. Three things, because fuck my
pride for the twenty seconds it takes to say this. I did want to see
you. There is something I want to do for you, and it is important. But
I wanted to see you too."
Ian
The information
that Kalen offered... well. It did not go unnoticed. And even in the
midst of his irritation, something sparked in Ian's eyes that was
somehow both bright and dark at the same time. Like Kalen had just
offered him a key to something he couldn't quite resist.
And
before he could gather his thoughts enough to offer a response, he let
out a slow, measured breath against Kalen's lips. Almost... testing.
He
lowered his mouth to Kalen's neck, as though to kiss the place just
beneath the corner of his jaw. But the kiss never came. Instead, he
exhaled another warm gust of breath.
"I'll keep that in mind," he whispered.
But then he pulled back.
"But I don't respond to nick-names. So you might want to re-think that stance."
Kalen Holliday
Ian
lets out that first slow breath and Kalen relaxes, eyes half closing.
His blinking slows and his breaths slow. Whatever the Hell context
that is in...it is probably not a thing he should tell people lightly.
He didn't. Ian wasn't present for the conversation that led to this
one. Wasn't there to watch Kalen struggling with trust. This was a
decision made in his absence. It probably looks like he didn't think
about it.
Ian pulls back and Kalen makes a very, very soft protesting sound. Barely audible. All in his throat.
And
then he blinks. "Did it not strike you as odd that you were working
the Ars...." He takes a breath, smiles, and sighs. "Mind magic and I
didn't even try to fight you? At all?"
"Mmmmmmmmmm...I
suppose that is a bridge we will just have to destroy someday. For now
though, I want you here. There is at least one thing I think you need,
and likely another one and so I suppose in the interest of not running
you off I can try to avoid directly addressing you. But they aren't-"
He sighs. "It's complicated. I'll explain some other time."
Ian
"Not really. I wouldn't have done it if I'd thought it would be unwelcome."
And
maybe he really hadn't analyzed it any more thoroughly than that. Maybe
Ian was the sort of person who was more used to hearing 'yes' than
'no.' That didn't mean he didn't have respect for the gravity of
empathic manipulation and everything that went along with it.
"But I understand what you're saying."
(Did he though?)
Kalen
wanted him here. Ian took that information for what it was and didn't
offer a response. Instead he settled back on the couch and returned his
attention to his drink.
"Do you know a Verbena named Sky Evans?"
Kalen Holliday
Kalen
settles back against the couch, curling up a little more. The position
is relaxed, for all that his attention is returned to Ian again.
Softened a bit perhaps, but Kalen is very definitely present for all he
is calm.
"No." He takes a sip of whiskey and waits. He could
ask who Sky was, or why Ian wants to know, but instead he just waits and
gives Ian space to tell him the parts of it he thinks are important.
Ian
If
there was disappointment there, Ian didn't show it. In truth, he wasn't
exhibiting much of anything at the moment - his energy muted and
contained. But he didn't meet Kalen's eyes for a long moment after that.
"He's
missing. So is his consor. Something took them, and all I know is that
he's somewhere... underground. Trying to find him's been a fucking pain
in the ass."
He didn't actually ask for help. Maybe he didn't know
how. But when he took another drink, there was a flash of that look
again... about as close to approaching anxiety as he usually got. A
weariness creeping in at the seams.
Kalen Holliday
"Hey-"
Kalen barely manages not to say kitty-cat. "Hey. I told you I'd help
if you'd let me, didn't I? We'll figure this out." His voice is
steady. Calm.
"That said, I'm no good with spirits. Don't panic
though, I know someone who can help. We'll find them." He smiles a
little, half-apologetic, and doesn't say that it will be okay. He
doesn't know. Ian probably wouldn't really let him murmur reassurances
anyway. He does reach out to rest a hand very lightly, very briefly, on
the underside of Ian's wrist.
"That's related to what I wanted to
talk to you about. We have a sort of private communication network.
You call a number and as far as the world is concerned, you're calling a
phone sex hotline. But, you'll actually reach a secure voicemail we
all have access to. We leave updates about things or discuss things
that affect the Magi in the city in general. So if you ever run into
something like this again, you could ask everyone at once. If you
wanted to. But you'd at least have the option.
"Denver...can be a dangerous city if you don't have people close. Maybe you do. I don't know. But...."
Ian
Ian
didn't say what his relationship to Sky was, and there was no
indication that he felt like discussing it. Maybe Kalen had his
assumptions, and maybe he didn't. They didn't really know each other
well enough to start discussing their relationship patterns (and even if
they had, whatever Ian had with Sky wasn't the sort of thing that
needed to be discussed.)
That didn't mean Ian didn't care what happened to him. (Clearly, he did.)
When
Kalen mentioned a phone sex hotline, Ian laughed. It was a tired sound -
weighted and rough around the edges - but still had the effect of
breaking some of the tension he'd built over the past few minutes.
"Everywhere
is dangerous. I used to live in New York. This place is a fucking field
of daisies by comparison." He finished off his whiskey and set the
glass down on the table. "Thanks, though."
The gratitude felt a bit simplistic, in the moment, but it was all he was likely to give.
"Is that all you wanted to talk to me about?"
Kalen Holliday
"I
thought I would start with that and see where we went from there,"
Kalen says. "I did not construct a checklist of topics." There is a
flash of a smile, but it has something darker and sharp-edged
underneath. "I probably should have. I'm terrible at talking to
people. I try, but...I don't have much of any real experience that
isn't fairly recent and none of that is really normal, and then this
thing I'm doing now happens. Dammit.
He laughs then, rich and
beautiful and with echoes of the darkness and sharp edges under that
smile. "Frighteningly, I can be charming. I'm very good at it. But
then I decided to try this expressing actual things, and not things that
were convenient fiction. People seem to largely be under the
impression that the truth is simpler but it's complicated and messy and
generally not all like something that seems to make anyone feel better.
It's like this mass hallucination that it's somehow easy and
preferable." He says this like it is a unremarkable thing to say.
"I
don't know that it matters. But I should set you up with Ginger." He
blinks. "Ginger is the phone thing. Also I should get you in touch
with Alyssa, who can help with the spirits. Beyond that...the Hell if I
have any idea."
Ian
"What, you didn't draw up a script in advance?"
The
teasing had a softer edge to it now that the prickle of tension had
left his voice. Maybe that was the whiskey's doing, or maybe he'd just
decided to put his claws away for a while. For a moment he let his eyes
wander the room, taking in the details he hadn't really noticed upon his
last visit.
"Most of what people say is at least partly bullshit. That's why I prefer flirting. All parties know the rules of the game."
Except
that Ian was maybe a little too good at changing things up when he
wanted to catch his opponent off-guard. And one could argue (as Serafine
had once done) that it ought not to be a game at all.
Ian looked at Kalen and cocked a wry smile. "Have you ever called an actual phone sex line?"
Kalen Holliday
"Oh,
I hardly think those rules are standardized. But there are certainly
worse ways to interact with people." And now, for the first time
tonight, Ian can hear that amused purr underlying his tone. It smooths
over those sharp edges almost entirely.
He pauses and thinks about
that for a second. "No. It seems like the kind of thing I might have
done, but no. I never did. I guess by the time I had a phone it wasn't
something that seemed terribly pressing." Clearly Ian is missing huge
parts of that story that make it make more sense, but that seems to be
all that Kalen is volunteering right this second.
Ian
"I did once, when I was a kid, but I hung up after about five seconds."
Ian
pulled off his boots and slid back until he'd settled into the crook of
the arm-rest, bringing his feet up to rest on the edge of the cushion
with his knees bent. There was a very relaxed, almost liquid flow to his
posture, and he leaned his head against the sofa, tilting it so the
curve of his neck was exposed. All of this may have given the impression
of a kind of vulnerability, but that would not necessarily be an
accurate assumption.
"What would you say, if you did?"
Kalen Holliday
Kalen
laughs and sips at his whiskey. "I have no idea. I don't
even...what?" He is not embarrassed, really, just puzzled. He's never
given any real thought to phone sex. But the tension that had started
creeping back into his shoulders begins to ease a little.
He may
have told Grace that he did not know if he should trust Ian. He may
have indicated that he did not. Except that he lets himself relax, lets
himself rest in ways he does not when he is asleep. He sinks a little
more heavily into the couch and lets his eyes half close.
Ian
Ian
flashed a grin and ran his tongue over one of his canines, giving a
loose shrug, as though to indicate that the question had been
open-ended. (That he'd meant for Kalen to take it wherever he wanted.)
"Pussy," he teased lightly. (And maybe there was a hint of irony in the way he said it - like a call-back to kitty-cat.)
A few beats later he sobered a little and unfolded from his relaxed
position. "Thanks for the drink. And the help. I should probably get
going."
Kalen Holliday
"If you like. Or we can
just call one of the damned things and see what happens." Kalen shrugs.
"Or whatever. If you want to go, do. But if you want company for
awhile, I certainly don't object."
Ian
Ian remained where he was for a moment, hovering
at the edge of a decision. His posture held a kind of coiled stillness,
inactive but somehow alive with the possibility of movement - no longer
fluid and relaxed but alert and ready.
"It was an invitation," he clarified. "To tell me what you want."
(Less an invitation and more of a lure, really. An invitation would imply that he was doing it for selfless reasons.)
"What I want is a distraction."
Kalen
"Oh,"
Kalen says softly. He doesn't say anything else or do anything for a
few seconds, just regards Ian with an expression that isn't easily
readable. He isn't hiding, really. He just has emotions layering on
top of each other and expressive...expressive in fluid, reflexive ways
does not describe Kalen at all.
No. There is an exception, and Ian has already witnessed it. It is hardly conversational.
This
does not remain conversational for long, either. There is that slight
pause, and then Kalen leans across the distance between them, starts to
kiss a soft line from the little hollow behind Ian's earlobe down his
neck. This is, at least for the moment, gentle.
Ian
[Oh, why not. Empathy?]
Dice: 5 d10 TN6 (3, 4, 4, 5, 8) ( success x 1 )
Kalen
Kalen
is concerned. And, for all he might not be inclined to be reflexively
demonstrative, he's trying to figure out what things he can do to help
Ian will allow. Because it's Ian. He rather doubts Ian is going to go
for being held and promised everything will be okay. He'd try for
concrete solutions, but he can't do that in this case.
So...distractions it is.
Ian
He'd been honest
with Kalen when he'd said he wanted a distraction. And perhaps in Ian's
mind that was enough to clear him of any potential responsibility for
Kalen's own feelings. They were both adults, and they made their own
choices. But the statement hadn't really been intended as a request.
(More of a warning, maybe.) That didn't mean he wasn't going to take a
moment to enjoy the contact for what it was.
When Kalen leaned in,
Ian let his eyes fall shut. Blood moved beneath his skin - beating a
soft pulse against Kalen's lips. One of Ian's hands found its way into
Kalen's hair, carding it through his fingers.
Then he let go and pulled away. Withdrew.
Stood up.
"Next time, maybe. For now, you should give me those numbers."
Kalen
The hand in his hair gets a soft, pleased sound.
He
sighs when Ian pulls away, but he doesn't make a move to stop him.
Kalen certainly isn't isolated now, but he did once value the distance
he kept between himself and the rest of humanity. It may not have made
him precisely happy, but that did not make it worthless. If Ian wants
to withdraw, he can withdraw.
"I actually need your phone for a
minute, I kind of have to install something on it for you to access
Ginger. It won't take long. Then you can go. Or, I could do it next
time, if you want to just leave now." Next time, they've both said now.
He pulls out his phone, fiddling with it for a few seconds.
Ian
Kalen
said that he needed to install something on Ian's phone, and Ian shot
him a veiled look that seemed to indicate a certain level of distrust,
though whether that was directed at Kalen specifically or the situation
in general... wasn't clear. Nonetheless, he seemed to think about it for
a moment, taking the opportunity to pull his boots back on while he
spoke.
(Funny how quickly a moment could turn - how quickly a person could change their mind.)
"I had a friend back in New York. She set up something similar. And then one day the wrong people found it."
He didn't bother explaining what happened next. Maybe he didn't have to.
But he did stay long enough to let Kalen give him Alyssa's number. Then he grabbed his jacket and left.
Kalen
"Nothing
is without risk. The trick is in deciding which things you're willing
to take risks for. It's an open offer, if you change your mind."
