Ian
Once Ian and Elijah were inside, Ian slid the
patio door shut and took a moment to glance back through the glass at
the picturesque scene they'd left behind. The sun had dipped down
beneath the trees, lighting the sky with a deep orange glow. Back at the
node, Grace and Jae-shin were soaking in the pool's rejuvenating
waters. Ian let his eyes rest on Jae-shin's figure for a moment. Then he
turned to Elijah.
"You know I don't actually speak French, right?"
Ostensibly,
that'd been the reason for their departure. Elijah needed help with his
composition. But of course, that wasn't the actual reason - at least
not in Ian's case. Ian led the way into the living room, pausing long
enough to allow Elijah to collect his things (if indeed he did intend to
tackle his homework.) Once there, he paced slowly over to the windows
and turned around.
"What's going on with you? I mean, really."
Elijah
"I
know you don't speak French," he admitted, though it wasn't even really
an admission. There was nothing to admit. Ian didn't speak French just
like Elijah didn't speak... well, Elijah didn't speak Latin, but that
might be remedied if he had his way sometime soon. The young man
gathered up his things.
What was going on with him? Really, no bullshit, no beating around it. No... whatever it was.
"I
moved into the warehouse with Kalen, and I have no clue what to tell
Jenn, so I'm still paying for the apartment because she came out and
won't have anywhere to live if I don't and I'm fucking tired of
lying to people," he started... what was up with him. It was starting to
feel like a tirade, like a storm, like too much, too much, too much
emotion pent up and disorganized and he didn't know what to say. The young man ran his hands through his hair. "And I'm a fucking dumbass and I don't think before I do things or before I say things and nobody trusts me and I can't really blame them because I don't trust me and congratulations awakening doesn't mean I'm any less of a goddamned disappointment, I'm now just a disappointment who can rewrite reality-"
He stopped.
"I'm sick of lying all the time."
Ian
Ian
gave Elijah space to answer. It was perhaps an odd moment for the two
of them to have this sort of talk, with their friends outside and Ian
having only just returned from a run. But for as cold and aloof as Ian
could be, he was also observant. There was something decidedly off about Elijah tonight, and though Ian didn't really need to ask to have a good idea of what that was, he asked anyway.
Elijah
opened up about what he'd been going through, and Ian listened. He
folded his arms loosely across his chest and leaned a hip against the
back of the sofa by the tv. His sweat-dampened hair was beginning to
dry, and his breathing was less rapid than it had been minutes earlier.
His pulse was calm now.
"Why don't you just go home? It's
been, what... weeks? Since this shit went down? If someone was going to
come for you, they'd have done it by now."
Elijah
[per+aware- are you going to think less of me over this?]
Dice: 7 d10 TN6 (1, 4, 5, 7, 7, 10, 10) ( success x 4 )
Ian
[subterfuge?]
Dice: 7 d10 TN6 (1, 4, 4, 5, 5, 6, 9) ( success x 2 )
Ian
From
what Elijah can tell, Ian is not presently feeling any particular sense
of disappointment. His expression and body language seem fairly
relaxed, though perhaps also a bit guarded (in the way that Ian is
always at least a little guarded.) He's keeping himself somewhat
detached from Elijah's situation - perhaps because a part of him knows
that something bad could happen to Elijah. But then, something bad could
happen to any of them at any time. That's just the reality of their
lives. Ian doesn't like to get attached to people. If Elijah hasn't
figured that out by now, then he probably will soon.
It's
entirely possible that Ian's opinion of Elijah has always been about on
par with what Elijah has proven himself to be: young, bold, reckless,
passionate. There are both positive and negative connotations there.
Does Ian trust Elijah? Probably not. But Ian doesn't really trust
anyone.
There is no active sense of disapproval or anger
coming from him tonight. Those things he already expressed. Instead
there is a note of careful empathy (reserved, because he does not want
to make Elijah think that he is someone who can be depended upon for
emotional comfort, but he is listening, and he does care.)
Elijah
"It's
not even that anymore. I-" he stopped, and it was close to pacing,
because he was intent on pacing because there was a restlessness about
him that was difficult to really put into something useful.
"Home
is now a room in a warehouse and will be for the foreseeable future
because I told Kalen I needed more out of our whole mentor student thing
than I was getting, and I'm not sleeping on people's couches anymore
but it doesn't matter where I go, I'm an inconvenience," he plopped himself down in front of a coffee table and
started to pull out text books and note books and pens- because as it
turned out, Elijah Poirot really did have homework to take care of.
"It'll
all wear through, and eventually the feeling will go away, but for
right now I'm in it. And it's... it's really something, you know? That
something can make you feel like this, or that I'm allowing
something to make me feel like this, but- I don't know. I don't know if
Kalen's letting me stay with him because it's the right thing to do or
if he feels guilty or... I don't know."
He shrugged.
"It doesn't matter."
Ian
Ian
watched Elijah pace. Something shifted in his expression, but Elijah
wasn't watching him closely at that point and likely wouldn't notice.
When Elijah sat down and began to unpack his homework, Ian glanced away
and slid his tongue over a couple of his teeth.
"I highly doubt
Kalen took you in because he felt guilty. But if you want to know, just
ask him." He lifted away from the smaller sofa and came to sit near
Elijah on the sectional, settling his weight a couple of cushions down.
"It isn't useful to you or to anyone else to sit around beating yourself
up. It just makes you sound pathetic."
Elijah
[That didn't hurt!]
Dice: 7 d10 TN6 (2, 4, 6, 8, 9, 10, 10) ( success x 5 )
Ian
[empathy?]
Dice: 6 d10 TN6 (1, 3, 3, 6, 7, 10) ( success x 3 )
Elijah
It just makes you sound pathetic.
His response would have been a number of things, but instead he laughs. He laughs because that's what one does,
because it was a release valve. Because... because laughter came
easily, because it always came easily, even if he didn't mean it. Even
if he did it because he needed to feel something other than what he was
feeling at the moment. It wa practiced, confident, competent.
"Yeah," he said, "I should probably knock that shit off, it's not attractive."
A beat.
"Anyway,
are you going to help me with my French homework or what? I can teach
you some of the less filthy phrases that come to mind... or the more
filthy phrases, whichever's more interesting."
Ian
Ian
leaned back and laughed softly, propping one of his elbows atop the
sofa cushion. He leaned his head into that hand and carded his fingers
through the back of his hair.
"Tu as une belle bouche."
After
a beat he added, "Believe it or not, I didn't ditch the guy I came here
with so I could flirt with you. And if I do, you're not going to get
any work done. So we should probably stick to the boring shit."
Elijah
"Telling me to quit wallowing in self-pity, making me do my actual French homework? What the fuck, Ian?"
He laughed, and this time the sound really was genuine.
"And my response to that falls into the completely filthy category, so merci, vous tes incroyablement charmant- thank you, you are incredibly charming."
And, with little fanfare, he got on to actually doing what he came here to do.
